One Tender Payment For Our Sins
by DissectingPomegranates
Summary: *Implied Femslash - Don't like Don't read* A songfic compilation series. Jealously, denial, courage and love is a fatal combination resulting in disastrous consequences for those involved.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Greetings, running with my muse in the limited time before another block is likely to be scheduled, I went digging around my peg-drive and found this. _

_*Hats off* To the wonderful Princess Sammi, who is the songfic queen (Yip, take a bow) and with some ping pong of ideas and suggestions was fabulous at helping despite this idea gathering cobwebs in my peg-drive since about last April/May time! _

_**WARNING** _

_This fic is femslash or as elements that imply such themes with a level of believability, taste and within the criteria of the rating system on the site. Don't like femslash then probably best to leave as this will be the only warning! Open to criticism, thoughts, feedback since this is a first attempt at femslash so thanks ;)_

_I own nothing, just something that I created when I thought I was going insane with a block writing Shattered Pieces. Songs and lyrics belong to artist and/or whoever wrote and takes original credit – again, I own nothing nor made any cash._

_Ignore any/all spelling and grammar mistakes; sadly I'm not prefect but try to minimize obvious mistakes from stealing the spotlight._

_**Sorry but due to a private message, I was more or less warned about the use of copying and pasting lyrics into this fic. This was promptly edited to prevent my account from being closed down and will now probably have to have a brief introduction as to what inspired the following chapters to begin with**  
_

_Enjoy x_

Chapter One: The One That Got Away

It seemed strange to imagine that at some point in her life, the raven haired beauty did not even acknowledge her very existence but despite that initial meeting, everything about the pale skinned woman infiltrated her mind and wormed into her constant thoughts.

Imogen was regularly distracted or appeared to be in a semi-permanent state of a wondrous dream as this woman provoked such intense feelings and thoughts which often clouded her judgement causing her fellow colleagues to notice the change in her behavior and mood, showing concern for her.

It was not long before Imogen began to conjure the most elaborate and pathetic excuses that often caused her to cringe when the obvious fabricated and poorly rehearsed piece of fiction uttered from her lips and left her colleagues weary of her sudden change in personality, why did she feel the need to lie to them?

Imogen became completely consumed and dependent by her mere presence, being in the same room or in close proximity could only be compared to that of a drug that allowed an euphoric and oddly calm sense which clumsily clouded her judgement but it was simply intoxicating but at the same time, Imogen knew that she could not willingly act upon her feelings not without justification or perhaps an indication from _her._

Somewhere within her peripheral vision, Imogen caught the raven haired mistress carefully observing her which caused the sudden rush of heat to her face as she distracted herself with a now cold cup of coffee. Her dazzling green eyes slowly caught her playful gaze from across the table and a small smile pulled at the corners of her lips which were reserved for Imogen alone while no-one else noticed.

But, sometimes in life what the heart wants the most and desires desperately often comes at a high price that so few can afford.

Imogen rested against the hard mattress on her side with her naked back facing the door; she lay curled in a tight fetal position. Her exhausted mind craved sleep but everything she dared to close her eyes; she was haunted by the images of _her. _It would be the last memory that Imogen would be able to recall until her dying day, the memory crisp and fresh that she could still smell the lingering perfume and now that was all she had to cling onto, the memory of her and nothing more.

She bit the inside of her cheek in an attempt to prevent the fragile barrier from rupturing having spending too long grieving that it was beginning to be a call for concern with her colleagues.

The tears were never for her self but always for _her, _mourning the premature departure while Imogen continued through the agonising existence merely going through the motions of a semi-normal life that continued despite her pleas. She was transparent, never particularly good at concealing the truth to begin with as her friends and colleagues noticed.

"Imogen," started a voice

She refused to acknowledge the voice which invaded her small bedroom however, she gasped when her mind cruelly decided to recover a repressed memory of an intimate moment which caused her heart to beat erratically as if it wanted to escape from the confines of her chest. Her eyes snapped open and she clutched at her shaking hands, convinced she was covered in blood. The heavy burden of guilt slowly numbed her senses when she realized it was another hallucination caused by her inability to come to term with the traumatic events.

"Imogen, at least say something to me. I cannot stand this..." She gestured with her hands, indicating the space which occupied and put distance between them when only a few weeks ago the only barrier had been their clothing.

Imogen awkwardly pushed herself from the tear stained pillow and swung her legs over the side now perched on the side of the bed and continuously avoiding her worrying gaze. She immediately pushed away a concerned hand that simply wanted to help console or offer some form of comfort.

"What is happening between us?"

The gym mistress sighed; frustration and guilt overwhelmed her mind and senses. She pushed herself roughly from the bed and reluctantly turned to face her "You know how I feel..."

"That's precisely the problem, I don't. I'm neither a mind reader nor psychic! If you would just talk to me then maybe we could figure this out."

Imogen pinched the bridge of her nose in an attempt to maintain her seething temper. She was at a complete loss as to how she could make her understand without inadvertently causing more harm and anguish to her already fracture feelings.

"I have a guilt conscious," began Imogen "It was my fault! Our relationship came at a price. Hindsight is a marvellous thing as now I start to question and replay everything that contributed towards..." her voice trailed off, unable to finish her sentence

"Don't blame yourself."

Imogen felt intense fury; her green eyes dazzled furiously which caused her to avert her to recoil slightly from the trembling gym mistress who simply glared at her with utter disgust.

"How bloody dare you! Do not presume to tell me what or how to feel...I am responsible...I have blood on my hands. Hell, I might as well just have used the knife and carried out the dastardly deed out myself."

Everything between the couple had suddenly become complicated. Their actions either directly or indirectly resulted in the death of a person which only fuelled Imogen's heavy guilt and spiraling depression after the traumatic accident. Now, their relationship was beginning to fray and threatened to tear them apart which would likely cause and inflect more pain and suffering but how could she continue to be with Imogen and love her when she knew that her feelings would never be reciprocated?

"You are not responsible for her death, Imogen."

"Of course, I'm responsible. It was always my fault." Sobbed Imogen

"It was a freak accident! How many times must we replay this argument?"

Imogen shook her head, impatiently "I toyed...I played with fire and now look...I got burnt."

"It's me, isn't it? You blame me, don't you...I know you do."

"You know nothing." Spat Imogen with venom

"I know that in a single heartbeat that you would choose _her _over me...I could never replace nor compete with _her. _You were always attracted to her and yet you _did _choose me."

Imogen wanted to reach out but something prevented her from the simple movement perhaps the truth was too cutting especially from her lover's lips, deep down she knew the truth.

"Lynne, please." Begged Imogen


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Greetings, just to let you guys know that this chapter is actually the beginning of the fic and will lead to what happens in the first chapter, I know, just a tad bit complicated but it'll all make sense in the end, only have a few chapters to do._

_This was originally suppose to be a songfic compilation but due to copyright, etc and the threat of having my profile closed down, I've had to re-think the whole idea although the songs I've made a note of with either feature as a chapter title or have a reference within the fic, I might even get away quoting a line from the song._

_Special thanks go out to Princess Sammi as ages ago we were ping-ponging ideas for this and she offered words of encouragement and tips of songfics, cheers dude._

_Enjoy x_

Drunken Words Are Sober Thoughts

Amelia and Davina had noticed the change to the normally energetic and enthusiastic physical education teacher had become unusually quiet and reverted into her shell, for security and comfort.

The two older witches were worried about their friend and colleague, it did not take the dynamic duo, playing detective to figure out what was troubling Imogen.

"It's definitely boy trouble." whispered Davina, slurping her tea, "It's the only plausible explanation."

Amelia agreed, nodding her head, "I have to agree with you, Davina and it appears to be ticking all the boxes."

"What a shame," sighed Davina, "She really did like that Serge fellow. We need to cheer her up!" she suggested, getting rather excited at the prospect of planning something colourful for her friend

Amelia nervous scratched the back of her neck, she knew that Davina had good intentions but the eccentric teacher would be miles of the mark with any of her ideas to help cheer up a modern, non-witch woman.

"What did you have in mind?" she loathed to ask

* * *

"I'm not sure about this..." her voice nervously trailed off

"Oh Nonsense!" announced Davina, blatantly ignoring her excuses and grabbed Imogen by the wrist, pulling her through the double doors.

Amelia, Davina and Imogen sat in a corner booth of the local pub and the first of many ice buckets sat on the table with two bottles of Pinot Grigio, wedged firmly in the ice. The conversation was strained at the beginning of the night as the older witches were obviously aware of how delicate their friend and colleague's frayed emotions but slowly the wine began to work its charm and soon Imogen felt herself grinning madly at the slightly confusing, intoxicating banter between Davina and the Landlord.

"What's Davina pleading on about?" asked Imogen and she sipped from her glass only to find it was already empty.

Amelia sniggered, "Ah! Davina received a lifetime ban from the karaoke," she paused and hiccuped

Imogen interrupted, "What?"

Amelia smiled and continued, "Davina got so excited about the damn contraption that she began to sing her rendition of a seemingly timeless Mongolia chant."

Imogen winced at the thought, "Then what happened?"

"Well, other than Davina receiving a lifetime ban, there were a lot of glassware that needed replacing along with a few ruptured ear drums."

Amelia and Imogen continued to watch in amusement as Davina attempted to sweet talk the landlord including using bribery which to her displeasure refused to change his mind. Amelia carefully refilled both their wine glasses and took a sip.

"Imogen, I hope that everything is alright?"

Her eyes fell on the table, "I'm fine." She murmured

"There's plenty of fish in the sea, you'll find prince charming...just give it time." Replied Amelia, putting her arm around Imogen's sagging shoulders to comfort her

There was a sudden dust of cold air that entered the pub before the door was secured and maintained the warmth of the pub. Constance graceful sat down in the booth beside her colleagues and neatly folded her cloak. Imogen swallowed and could feel her mood suddenly change upon the arrival of the strict teacher. Amelia offered her deputy a glass of wine to which she reluctantly accepted.

"I didn't think you were coming, Constance." Spoke Amelia, taking another sip of her wine

"There were some duties that required my attention but I am here now." She replied coolly before inspecting the glass and the contents before taking a tentative sip

Imogen rolled her eyes and gulped a generous amount of wine as if she had an unquenchable thirst, "So nice that you could _eventually_ join us." Smiled Imogen, her comment thick with sarcasm that bypassed Amelia

Constance raised an eyebrow, unsure if Imogen was simply intoxicated or referring to something else either way, she clearly was not happy by her presences although there was no love loss between the two opposing woman, they continued to sit in an awkward silence.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the karaoke hours has started!" announced the red faced landlord, "Please remember that Davina Bat is severing a lifetime ban so do not give her that microphone."

Upon hearing her name, Davina stood on a chair and waved at the locals, grinning madly. Amelia sniggered and shook her head, gesturing for her colleague to return to the booth and enjoy the rest of the night.

Davina was in awe and hypnotized by the karaoke machine, she desperately wanted to upstage these amateurs but she would have to settle for basking in the whole atmosphere and their excitement as people took their turn to sing on the small stage. Amelia had been standing, waiting at the bar, buying the next round but got merrily sidetracked from her task and chatted to an old friend while left Imogen and Constance alone.

Constance remained in her rigid posture since arriving and cradled the small glass in her hand, she had already drank two glasses and intended to nurse the remains of the glass until it was time to leave, feeling slightly lightheaded by the effects of drinking and hardly eating anything to allow the food to absorb the alcohol.

Imogen's pace had completely stopped, she had originally wanted to drink enough that she would be like Constance in a way, unable to feel any emotions but her mind thought about the following morning and a hangover was not worth it.

In the background, an older woman took to the stage and started to sing. Imogen instantly recognised the song and took a sideways glance at Constance. This song was indeed one that perfectly described the ice hearted maiden. The song was Christina Perri – Jar of Hearts.

Imogen elbowed Constance, "This song reminds me of you."

"How so?" she replied

The woman that stood on the stage sang the song perfectly and Constance could not pretend not to hear the lyrics, those cutting words that somehow described her perfectly, she glanced at Imogen, her eyes silently pleading with her but she refused to chase her, to give in to what Imogen wanted.

Imogen continued to mouth along to the lyrics.

She was confused and did not know who she was anymore or what she wanted. Imogen barely recognised herself, staring intently at her reflection and pondering the mystery of who was the mysterious stranger standing before her. She had been a grounded, down to earth person and now everything was thrown into utter chaos.

She glanced back at Constance, who appeared to be calm and continued to supervise the events of the night, Imogen wondered how could someone be so cold and unfeeling? To make her believe in something, give her a sample before cruelly ripping it away from her. Imogen had been convinced that at some point previously she could have been the person that could have melted away that coldness and bring life back into her long, lost heart.

There was a part of her, a mere flicker that continued to clutch onto that fraying hope but the realisation of it was that she had been left completely and utterly devastated, she was heartbroken and no amount of pleas, begging and willingly opening her feelings and emotions would change anything. She had been rejected and was not ready to face the harsh reality as she knew that she could always dream.

Dream what could have been, the maybe's and what if's swan within her head depicting various scenarios but even she knew that she could not continue to live this way and decided that she would silently leave the pub.

"Where are you going?" called a stern voice

"Away," she paused, "far away from you."

Constance stopped, "Me?" she questioned

Constance raced after the intoxicated teacher, she reached out to offer something in the form of comfort, the gesture was purely innocent but Imogen slapped her hand away, seething temper raising and glared at her, "Don't touch me!"

Imogen had to make her understand so that Constance could not simply argue that this was due to hormones, stress or the alcohol that was currently coursing through her veins as was the adrenaline.

"Do not touch me, don't even talk to me. Hell, don't dare look at me!" she shouted, her voiced trembled under the burden of her overloaded emotions but she did not care, she wanted to show Constance what she had done.

Constance was genuinely startled and retracted her hand before regaining her normal composure

"No, in fact...yes, look at me." She snarled, "Look at what you've done."

Constance cleared her throat and attempted to speak, to be the voice of reason. Imogen pointed at her, she thrust her finger towards her chest, "No! It's _my_ turn and dammit you _will_ listen."

Her eyes were wide; Constance had never witnessed her colleague enraged before and remained silent.

"I left Serge because I couldn't to lie...couldn't pretend anymore. He was a good man, an innocent man caught up in all of this." She waved her hands wildly, "He deserves better...so much more than I was able to reciprocate." She paused and licked her dry lips and stared into the brown eyes that reflected back at her

"But now I see that I also deserve more."

* * *

"Are you implying that I don't have a heart?"

Imogen shook her head, "I never said that, I implied that your heart was made out of ice."

She gasped, visibly hurt, "That's not fair...you don't understand..."

Imogen was beyond frustrated, "Well, maybe if you let someone beyond that suit of armour you wear then we'd have evidence of your alleged heart."

Constance sighed, "I refuse to continue with this discussion, you're clearly not in any fit state of mind and will likely say something you will later regret."

"No, maybe you need this reality check, Constance...enough with your self-imposed celibacy."

Her eyes went wide, "What..." she stuttered, "How...how dare you...I followed you out here to ensure you would get hurt returning back to the school."

Imogen rolled her eyes, "Too late...I'm already hurt."

"You are pushing your luck, Imogen." Warned Constance

Imogen half laughed, "I left Serge because I could not continue the charade anymore, it was always pretend. I fell for you and you allowed it to happen."

"I most certainly did not."

"Well, I don't remember you refusing my advances and if memory serves correctly, it was _you _that chased me, initially." She paused, reasserting control of her outburst, "I just wished it had lasted longer than a few weeks."

"I don't know what to say..." Constance was perplexed by the situation unraveling and felt completely helpless

Imogen took a step towards the taller witch and pointed at her chest, the tears trickled down her face, "Do you know what this is?"

She intently shook her head

"This is heartbreak; this is what you've done to me." Replied Imogen


End file.
